Skip to main content
Q
We have a daughter just starting kindergarten. She is very bright but has not been motivated to read very much on her own. We have not pushed this yet -- we know this is normal. Our problem is her three-year-old brother who is catching on to reading and numbers VERY quickly. His teachers have been astounded by his abilities. Our daughter is concerned that she is slow because he is so quick. Any insight on how to get both kids reaching their full potential while not destroying any esteem?
A
Your enthusiastic reaction to your son's skills in reading and math may be making your daughter feel slow in comparison. Are you asking him to perform for friends and relatives? If so, this is probably enhancing her feelings of inferiority. Also, are you as enthused about the work she is bringing home from school?

A bright little girl probably has many excellent papers. Display them prominently on the refrigerator. Have her put them in letters to grandparents and other fond relatives. After school each day, look over your daughter's work with her and show a genuine interest in what she is doing at school. She needs to know that you value how well she is doing.

Make it a point to avoid comparing your children's skills in reading, math, and other areas. It can only lead to feelings of inferiority in one child, as well as sibling rivalry.

Please keep in mind that kindergarten teachers don't consider parental help in developing reading and math skills as important as developing language, thinking, social, self-help, fine motor, and speaking skills in preparation for school? Most of your son's time should be spent in learning about the world from the hands-on experiences he will get through play.

As you have said, your daughter should not be expected to be reading independently. Kindergarten children, typically, only start reading toward the end of the year. For now, focus on increasing her motivation to read, not on actually having her read. The best way to do this is by reading to her as often as you can.

Join the Family

Your partner in parenting from baby name inspiration to college planning.

Subscribe