Q
My son's preschool classmate threatens the other children with death on a daily basis. He doesn't, however, seem to do this in the context of a game such as cops and robbers. He's a bright four-year-old who's also physically violent, although the threats are more common. The teachers and his mother have assured me that this is normal behavior. I find this hard to believe, considering that the other children seem to be afraid of him. I am considering removing my child from the school because of this. Am I doing the right thing?
A
It is absolutely not normal behavior for a preschooler to be making death threats to his peers on an daily basis. I'm surprised that preschool teachers with any training in child development would regard such behavior as "normal." His mother is clearly in denial about his psychological well-being if she is unconcerned about his chronic, physically violent behavior and his death threats.
I would ask other concerned parents to meet with the head teacher and her staff to discuss what they plan to do about this boy. If they are steadfast in believing that there is nothing to worry about and that his behavior is perfectly normal, I would strongly consider placing your child in another preschool. A preschool staff who would not see this boy's behavior as seriously destructive and alarming don't possess the wisdom that I would demand of my child's caretakers.