Once angry he doesn't listen to the coach when he tries to correct him or encourage him, he pushes him and his teamates away.
Some people believe he'll grow out of this, but I have seen men behave this way and I don't want my son to act in this way.
Your son is showing that he can't control himself, even after he is reprimanded in public, benched, and punished by you. I would suggest that your punishment on top of his being benched and reprimanded by his coach is overkill. Punishment doesn't work as a form of discipline (teaching) -logical and natural consequences do and he is receiving those from his coach and his fellow teammates.
I am concerned that his uncontrollable anger and disappointment with himself may lead to depression if this becomes his way of dealing with everyday life. His internal pressure on himself to be perfect and his expectation that he should get what he wants sets him up for repeated disappointments and possible depression. The best resource that I can recommend for you regarding your addressing his pessimism and lack of resilience is Martin Seligman's "The Optimistic Child". This book gives you an understanding of how kids become pessimistic, overwhelmed, and hopeless and gives you concrete suggestions on how to turn those negative, self-defeating attitudes and unrealistic expectations around. You also may benefit from reading "The Difficult Child", by Stanley Turecki.
It may help your son if a high school athlete, college athlete or professional athlete that he respects spoke him to with empathy and encouragement. This athlete may be able to say things to him and influence him in a manner unavailable to you or any youth sport coaches. If he continues to sabotage himself and get more and more mired in his self-defeating rages, I would consider some professional counseling by a therapist whom he could relate to. Give me an update in a while if you'd like.