Your ex-daughter-in-law should be concerned, regardless of whether her son is presently exhibiting troubling behavior. Of course, it's possible for kids to "do okay" after being the victims of parental abuse. But doing "okay" in these cases cannot be measured simply by watching the easily observable behavior of these kids. They are not and will not do "okay" in the deepest parts of their minds, hearts, and souls. All children who suffer such abuse deserve experienced professional help, along with the firm commitment to help them heal by their other family members. I hope that your ex-daughter-in-law can be persuaded to get your grandson the therapy that he definitely needs, but blaming her should not be part of this attempt to persuade her to help her little boy.
Q
My grandson was abused my his step-dad and has since been removed from that situation. How crucial is it that he receive therapy? Can some children do okay after such an experience without therapy? My ex-daughter-in-law doesn't seem concerned.
A
Unfortunately, most kids who have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused by family members do not receive professional counseling. Most of this abuse is never reported by these children and they move through their lives deeply affected by this trauma. They suffer greatly, experiencing symptoms such as: significantly diminished self-worth; an inability to maintain trusting, loving relationships; chronic depression; sexual promiscuity; and chronic anger.