ADHD: Establishing Routines

Other tools

Calendars can supplement daily checklists. Once the child masters the list, your expectations can increase to cover day-to-day changes (the band instrument on Tuesdays, for instance). Use supplemental visual cues. One way is to color code items according to the day your child needs them. With masking tape and Magic Markers, tag each item with a small square of tape colored with a marker. Use the same marker and highlight the appropriate day on a calendar--blue for Monday, red for Tuesday, and so on. The child checks the calendar (posted close to the door) and takes the items coded for that day. (To make this system work--at least initially--keep all coded items by the door with the calendar close by.) This system not only increases a child's ability to act independently, it also acquaints him with a meaningful use for a calendar.

Once your child has developed proficiency with a daily checklist, you can combine the calendar and list in one format. The calendar can include a list of things needed daily as well as color-coded items. This reminds the child of what he's responsible for on a daily basis--homework, assignment notebook, lunch or lunch money--without relying on parental support. Parents need to update the calendar list and, at least initially, double-check and reinforce compliance. But once he gets it right, you don't have to keep reminding him.

Also use calendars to schedule all family members' commitments in one place. When a child comes home and asks, "Will you take me to get poster board for my project?" (which, by the way, was assigned three weeks ago and is due tomorrow) and you have to take his brother to a piano lesson, the calendar can convey the bad news--so you don't have to. Your reply is "I don't know. Check the calendar to see if I have to be someplace else." So, too, when Maria comes home and asks if Anna can spend the night tonight (something you are the last to know since she and Anna have made all the plans), let the calendar convey the decision. If your household policy is, "Ask two days in advance; if the answer is yes, it goes on the calendar. If it's not on the calendar it doesn't happen," the calendar communicates the response. One last example: Your younger child asks to go to the park on Saturday. You say, "We'll see," which by Saturday morning becomes interpreted as "You promised!" If the family policy is, "If agreed to, it goes on the calendar. If it's not on the calendar ..." To make this system work you need to wean yourself from that parental cop-out "We'll see," which usually means "probably not" to you and "yes" to your child. If it's "no," say so; if you're not sure, set a definite time by which you will tell your child one way or the other.

Quick Tip
Use calendars to document family activities and privileges. If it's not on the calendar, it doesn't happen.

Calendars are also great for recording interim objectives and deadlines for long-term projects. Many children, especially those with ADHD and some learning disabilities, have difficulty breaking down large tasks into their component parts. Calendars provide a visual format for taking those parts, once established, and, working back from the final due date, determining short-term objectives and deadlines for each step. Children need this skill as they get older and the assignments' complexity increases. By middle school, teachers assume children have the ability to organize, work, and complete tasks independently. Therefore, introduce these tools as early as possible.