10 Ways to Deal with Temper Tantrums

You may feel tempted to return your toddler's screaming with some yelling of your own. But seeing your anger when he's already got enough of his own will no doubt drive your child even farther over the edge. Your own yelling will tend to prolong your child's tantrum, because it will set him off again and again.

Try to avoid long, drawnout scenes in which you beg, bribe, urge, or command your child to regain control of herself. If you allow the tantrum to become a big scene, you will be rewarding your child with "too much" attention. (Sometimes attracting even negative attention is better than no attention at all.) Creating a scene will not only prolong the tantrum, but it may provoke repeat performances in the near future. If, however, you deny your tantrum-torn toddler an audience, she will call off the performance as soon as she can.

Don't ever bribe your child or give in on the limit you've set just to quiet a tantrum. (Even if you realize that a limit you've set is unreasonable, hold your ground. You can always apologize later for your unreasonableness, but continue to be unreasonable for some time after the tantrum has ended.)

If you reward a tantrum, you will condition your child just like one of Pavlov's dogs. Every time your toddler wants something, she'll throw a little fit. So don't buy your child the candy she wanted just because she makes a little scene —or even a huge brouhaha. Instead, try to demonstrate that the tantrum has no effect on you whatsoever. It will not change your mind one little bit.