Create a Successful Parenting Plan (& Parenting Template Ideas)

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When a couple divorces, it is a good idea that they create a parenting plan ^[1] for their children. This can be a difficult process because usually at this time emotions are running high. However, parents must keep in mind that the parenting plan is an essential tool of a successful co-parenting relationship. For a parenting plan to work, it must always prioritize the best interest of the child.

What Is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan states the responsibilities of each parent when they are separated or divorced. It discusses issues such as the children’s custody arrangement, health care, education, wellbeing, and finances.

It is designed to meet the needs of individual families and to help parents avoid future battles. By establishing clear expectations, a parenting plan helps avoid misunderstandings and supports the children’s well-being and stability.

A parenting plan is a living document ^[2]. It can change by mutual agreement as the children grow or the circumstances of the family change.

How to Create a Successful Parenting Plan

Parents can create a parenting plan on their own, or with the help of a divorce lawyer, family therapist, or divorce coach.

What Is Included in a Parenting Plan

A parenting plan must include:

Parallel Parenting: The Best Parallel Parenting for Your Kids

When a marriage ends, an amicable divorce and conflict-free co-parenting is the ideal. But that’s not always possible. A parallel parenting plan can help a family to navigate decision-making in a high-conflict situation. Is parallel parenting right for your family? Read More

A parenting time schedule: it must establish the time that each parent spends with the child. This schedule must consider the parents’ work schedules, and the children’s ages and needs. Parents must also decide how birthdays, Christmas, and holidays will be organized.
Communication: an agreement should be reached about how parents will communicate and what information should be shared. Parents may set up a weekly, monthly or quarterly meeting to discuss the children. If communication between parents is difficult it may be a good idea to have a communication book, covering issues like what homework children need to do, what medicines they are taking, or any other issues both parents should know about.
Costs and expenses: parents must agree how payments for extracurricular activities, school trips, uniforms, medical care, phone bills, clothes, or pocket money will be divided.
Health and medicines: parents must decide what to do and how to communicate in the case of a medical emergency, regular health care, and giving medicines.
Parenting issues: decisions must be made about rules at home, parenting style, discipline, extracurricular activities, religious education, screen time, sleepovers, and the child’s relationships with the extended family.
New partners: parents must decide when and how children should be introduced to a new partner.
A designation of decision-making responsibilities regarding the child.
A method to solve future disagreements

Are Parenting Plans Legally Binding?

Different countries have different rules. In general, a parenting plan can become legally binding if it is written by a solicitor and approved by the Court.

A Parenting Plan is Much More than Deciding Custody Arrangements

Often, we think that a parenting plan focuses on deciding the custody arrangements. But as we have seen, it is much more than that. A parenting plan if it is well designed and implemented effectively, will allow parents to co-parent their children successfully.

Custody arrangements tend to be a contentious aspect of parenting plans. There are a few custody ^[3] options:

Sole legal custody: one parent makes legal decisions for the child, including education, medical treatments, extracurricular activities… This is not a very common arrangement and tends to happen only when joint custody is not considered to be good for the child, usually because the parent has a history of neglect, abuse, or addiction. The fact that one parent has the sole legal custody of a child does not mean that the non-custodial parent is completely removed from the child’s life. They can still have visitation rights and be consulted when important decisions need to be made for the child.
Joint legal custody: both parents have the right to make major decisions for their child. This is a common arrangement and recognizes that both parents play an important role in the child’s life. It requires effective communication and willingness to compromise by both parents.
Sole physical custody: the child lives with one parent (residential parent) and the other parent (non-custodial parent) has visitation rights. Depending on the nature of the parent-child relationship, visitations may be supervised or structured in a way that protects the child.
Joint physical custody (or shared parenting arrangement): both parents (custodial parents) have the responsibility of living with and taking care of the child. This arrangement means that both parents have equal responsibility when making decisions, but it does not necessarily mean that parenting time is divided equally between both parents. Custody and parenting time are two different issues. Parenting time depends on what is practical and in the best interest of the child. A joint physical custody arrangement can range from a child living during the week with one parent (primary physical custodial) and spending every other weekend with the other parent to for example, a magpie parenting arrangement, where the children stay in the family home and the parents go back and forth when is their time to take care of them.

In general, it is considered that joint custody is best for the child as it keeps both parents involved in their child’s life ^[4].