Question:
Should I let my teenager get a tattoo? She’s 17 and I don’t want her to make a mistake she’ll regret, but I also have tattoos and don’t want to restrict her because she can get one with parental approval in our state.
Dr. Ana’s Answer:
This is one of those parenting questions for which there is not a right or wrong answer. It depends on your values. Some parents don’t see a problem with their teen doing a tattoo whereas others forbid it completely.
I cannot tell you what to do but what I can tell you is that how you discuss this issue with your daughters matters. Here are a few tips to discuss it in a useful and meaningful way:
- Why does she want a tattoo? Is it because her friends are doing it, and she doesn’t want to be the only one without one? Or is this something that she wants for herself?
- Ask her to think about it carefully and to take her time to make a decision. Teenagers are likely to act impulsively. You can maybe tell her to wait for a month or two and if by then she still feels sure that she wants it, then she can do it.
- Where on her body does she want it? Discuss it with her. Raise important points like not doing it in a very visible place because it may be a problem down the line to get certain jobs, for example.
- What is the tattoo going to be? Discuss the fact that it is not a good idea to tattoo the name of a boyfriend/girlfriend or any other passing trend in her life that she might dislike in a few years.
- Discuss with her that tattoos can carry health risks, like skin reactions. Also discuss that it is very important to go to a reputable tattoo shop.
In your case, you should also discuss the fact that you have tattoos. She may not understand why her having a tattoo is an issue for you. Explain to her why you have doubts about her having one.
Whether you decide to let her do it or not, try for her to understand your reasoning. Teenagers tend to comply with what you are saying when they understand the reasoning behind it. If she does not understand it, she will think that you are not being fair, and this may create problems between you two.
I hope this information is useful and let me know how you get on!
Ask Dr. Ana: How Can I Get My Parents to Respect My Boundaries as a Teen Mom?
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Love,
Ana
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