Ask Dr. Ana: How Can I Support My ADHD Son Without Feeling Overwhelmed?
Question:
My adhd son is giving me anxiety, please provide advice or help. I’m dealing with mental health issues already and don’t want to be overwhelmed
Dr. Ana’s Answer:
I am sorry to hear you that you are struggling. Parenting is hard and parenting a child with ADHD can be even tougher.
I cannot stress enough how important it is that you take care of yourself. First, because you matter and second, because you need to be strong to take care of your son. If you need 1:1 support please do not hesitate to get in touch with me, we can support you.
I don’t know how much you know about ADHD but it is usually helpful for parents to understand their child’s condition well. In general, parents who know about their child’s condition feel more confident and enjoy parenting more. Why? Because you understand better what it's important and what's not. You can let go of things that don't matter. You get to understand what you can and can't expect of your child because you understand their condition.
As important to know the theory about your child's condition is to know your son. Because at the end of the day, the label doesn't define your son. In the same way that no neurotypical children are the same, no two children with ADHD are the same. The better you understand your son, the more you know about his triggers, his likes and dislikes, his routines, the better your connection with him and the more confident you will feel in your role as a parent.
It is also important that you 'right size' your expectations. Know who your son is. So, if your son is constantly overstimulated by noise and people, expect that a visit to the zoo, can be tough and if it goes wrong, you don't get terribly disappointed. It gives you time to be preventative. Prepare your son for whatever is going to happen. Once the behaviour is happening and it has escalated, it's difficult to manage.
It may be worth finding a local group or an online group for parents of children with ADHD. You may find it useful to connect with parents going through similar issues as yours.
Finally, there is a book called: “Differently Wired” by Deborah Reber that I really like and that you may find useful.
I hope this helps!
Love,
Ana
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