Dr. Ana Aznar
How to convince your parents to butt out of your parenting life? Because I’m a teen mom living on my own, but my parents won’t stop trying to insert themselves into our lives.
Dr. Ana’s Answer:
It is understandable that you want your independence and at the same time you need to try to understand that your parents want to help you and your baby because they love you. All teenagers distance themselves from their parents, and many parents find this process difficult. The fact that you are going through this process while having a baby of your own may be making it more difficult for your parents.
So, what can you do?
- If you tell your parents that they are inserting themselves into your life, they may not understand what you mean. It is always better to give them concrete examples. Why don’t you write a list of the things you find intrusive? For example, I think that you are intruding when...:
- “You come to my place announced”, “You give me unsolicited parenting advice’, or “You tell me that my way of doing things is not right”.
- Once you have this list, tell them in a nice way how you feel. It may be something like: “Mum and Dad, I really love you and I know that you are trying to help but I need some space to find my feet as a mum. I find it too intrusive when you do..., could you please try to stop doing it?”. See how they react, you may not want to go through the whole list at once. It may be better to tell them in small doses.
- Whenever they give you unsolicited parenting advice, try saying things like: “I appreciate you want to help but I think I am going to try it my way first” or ““I know that you have more experience than I do but I need to figure things out by myself”.
- If you and your parents are up to it, having a session with a family therapist, may help you deal with these issues and find ways to solve them. Do get in touch with me if this sounds like a good idea.
You may find this article helpful: How to Deal with Unsolicited Parenting Advice.
I wish you and your family all the very best.
Love,
Ask Dr. Ana: How Do I Handle Unsolicited Parenting Advice?
Question: How to deal with unsolicited advice from my own parents as a new parent Read More
Ana
Do you have questions for Dr. Ana? Ask for free today!
Related content:
