148 Back-to-School Jokes for Kids

We've got a list of the best back-to-school jokes for kids including knock-knock jokes and jokes for kids' first day of school.

Stephanie Sokol

Updated: February 15, 2024

Table of contents

The beginning of a school year can be stressful for kids and parents alike as summer vacation comes to a close. New teachers, new environments, long days, adjusting to new routines, and getting back into important habits can all feel overwhelming.

Parents and kiddos alike can beat the back-to-school stress with these kids’ school jokes that will bring a good laugh and help everyone crack a smile.

You could easily turn back-to-school knock-knock jokes into a printable and add it to your kid’s lunch box to help brighten their day. Share a joke while getting ready in the morning, or save a riddle for around the dinner table at night to help ease tension and lighten the mood.

From kindergarten to high school, these 150 jokes are a great starting point, and before you know it swapping jokes with your kids may become something everyone looks forward to.

Here’s our list of 150 back-to-school jokes for kids and parents that’ll have everyone laughing on the first day of school.

First Day of School Jokes for Kids

Get ready to giggle, chuckle, and laugh out loud as we dive into a collection of first-day-of-school jokes for kids! These jokes are the perfect icebreakers to lighten up the mood and make the first day of school a fun and memorable experience. Let's turn those school jitters into joyful giggles!

On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
June, July, and August.
Why did the echo get detention the first day?
It kept answering back.
What did the Buffalo say at school drop-off?
Bison.
What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
Sum-mer.
Where do writing utensils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
Where does a surfer go to school?
Boarding school.
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Children in what grade have the greenest thumbs?
Kindergarden.
Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water.
What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
They had a big class trip.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
Time to run!
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it really wanted to be a smartie.
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A bookworm.
Where do kids in New York learn multiplication tables?
Times Square.
Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory during school hours?
Because you can’t concentrate.
Why don’t fish go on vacation?
Because they’re always in a school.
Why did the kid study on an airplane?
He wanted a higher education.
What do you do if a teacher rolls their eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back.
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano.
What did the pen tell the pencil on the first day of school?
Looking sharp.
How does a book stay warm?
By putting on its jacket.
What is the smartest bug?
A spelling bee.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
Why should you read in the sun?
So you can become well-red.

Silly School Subject Jokes for Kids

Young boy dresses as Einstein and stands in front of school blackboard — *Image source: Getty Images*

Prepare for a laughter-filled class as we introduce you to our hilarious collection of silly school subject jokes for kids. From math giggles to science chuckles, we've got all subjects covered. Let's turn those study sessions into a comedy club!

Why do calculators make great friends?
You can count on them.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
What is a snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss tory.
Why does the math book always look sad?
They are full of problems.
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi.
Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What did the math book say to the history book?
Boy, I’m full of problems.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
What’s your point?
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals.
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet.
What room can a student never enter?
A mushroom.
What does a book do when it gets cold?
It puts on a jacket.
Why is glue bad at math?
It always gets stuck on the problems.
What did the spider make online?
A website.
What flies around the school at night?
An alpha-bat.
Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What did the bully have for lunch?
A knuckle sandwich.
How do scientists get fresh breath?
By having experi-mints.
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What do elves learn in class?
The elf-abet.
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees.
Why does a teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students are so bright.
What’s the king of school supplies?
The ruler.
Why is history the sweetest subject?
Because it’s full of dates.
Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom?
Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
Why were students doing multiplication on the floor?
Because the teacher asked them not to use tables.
How do you make seven even?
Take away the 's'.
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
They keep getting lost at C.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
Someone you can always count on.
Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
To stay in shape.
What do you get when you cross a tree with a math teacher?
Arithma-sticks.
What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
Watch the board, and I’ll go through it again.
What is a witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling.
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
Because he wanted to cut class.
What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket?
Smartie pants.
Why did the student leave their accounting course?
It was too taxing.
What is a science teacher’s favorite type of tree?
Chemis-tree.
What is a butterfly’s favorite subject?
Mothematics.
Why is 1+1=3 like your left hand?
It’s not right.
What dinosaur has a strong vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
Why are the students not too fond of the lie-brarian?
She was dishonest.
Why is the obtuse angle always sad?
Because it can never be right.
Why do students go to math teachers with their issues?
Because they solve problems.
Why shouldn’t you give your history teacher a gift?
Because he won’t like the present.
What grows in a school garden?
Human beans.
Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?
A princi-pal.
Why didn’t the kids take the school bus to school?
It didn’t fit through the door.
Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the water.
What did the teacher say about the pizza student?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
How can students get straight A’s?
By using a ruler.
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
Stop going in circles and get to the point.
Why did the student throw her watch out of the school window?
To see time fly.
What do you call a square that was in an accident?
A rect-angle.
What animal plagiarizes all of their essays?
A cheat-ah.
Why do magicians score well in exams?
Because they’re good at handling tricky questions.
Why do fireflies get bad grades?
Because they are not bright enough.

Lunchbox Jokes to Cheer Up Your Kid at School

Two young kids sit together outside holding paper lunchboxes — *Image source: Getty Images*

Get ready to pack a punch(line) in your kid's lunchbox with our delightful collection of lunchbox jokes! Let's transform lunchtime into a laughter-filled feast.

Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yoke?
What does an injured lemon need to feel better?
Lemon-aid.
What do piglets do after school?
Their ham-work.
What color is a belch?
Burple.
What do you call a messy fruit salad?
A fig-sty.
What does a computer do at lunchtime?
Have a byte.
Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s another excuse to dunk
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll.
What are the twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the street?
Because it ran out of juice.
What comes from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
It kept going back four seconds.
What do wrestlers’ drinks come in?
Six-packs.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do loggers eat in the forest?
Mac and trees.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft-serve.
Where can people learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
What do math students eat on Halloween?
Pumpkin Pi.
Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Kid-Friendly Knock-Knock Jokes

Open the door to a world of laughter with our collection of kid-friendly knock-knock jokes! These jokes are guaranteed to get your little ones giggling and sharing the fun with their friends.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah more summer–it’s time for school!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
I.
I who?
iPods aren't allowed in school.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Isabelle going to ring so school starts?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Izzy.
Izzy who?
Izzy tests are my favorite.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Haden.
Haden who?
Haden seek is my favorite recess game.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to school.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Fonda.
Fonda who?
Fonda my new teacher.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fran.
Fran who?
Fran-tic on the first day of school.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Gracie.
Gracie who?
Gracie about my new teacher.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Felix.
Felix who?
Felix-cited about the new school year.

Back-To-School Puns for Kids

These clever plays on words are sure to make your children's first day back a little less daunting and a lot more fun.

What do you call a dishonest bookkeeper?
A lie-brarian.
I am never going to a Halloween party with my Geometry teacher.
His costume was too squarey.
The origami teacher wanted to quit his job.
He was frustrated because of all the paperwork.
The teacher was angry about the kid-napping in school, but it is fine now.
He woke up.
You should never gift anything to your history teacher.
He won’t like the present.
At first, I was so nervous about English.
But now I am past tense.
In school, I was very bad at math.
I didn’t count how many times I failed.
My music school accused me of plagiarising.
I was only taking notes.
The fish was sad he failed his classes.
He was below C level.
Our computer teacher quit teaching school students.
Because he lost his drive.

Back-To-School Jokes for Teachers

Teacher reads picture book aloud to class, class laughs — *Image source: Getty Images*

Get ready to add a dash of humor to your lesson plans with these light-hearted jests that are perfect for bringing a smile to your face as you prepare for the new school year.

Why does the math book always look sad?
They are full of problems.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says “Spit out that gum!” the other says “Chew, chew, chew”.
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi.
Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What did the math book say to the history book?
Boy, I’m full of problems.
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals.
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet.
Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water.
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A bookworm.
Why does a teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students are so bright.
What’s the king of school supplies?
The ruler.
Why is history the sweetest subject?
Because it’s full of dates.
What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
They had a big class trip.
How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano.
What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
Someone you can always count on.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
To reach high school!
What do you get when you cross a tree with a math teacher?
Arithma-sticks.
What is a science teacher’s favorite type of tree?
Chemis-tree.
What do you do if a teacher rolls their eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back.
What are the coolest letters of the alphabet?
The AC.

Back-to-School Jokes for Parents

Embrace the fun side of parenthood with our collection of back-to-school jokes for parents! These jokes are designed to lighten up the hectic mornings, busy after-school routines, and everything in between.

Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
Why is 1+1=3 like your left hand?
It’s not right.
What does a duck use to solve math problems?
A Quack-u-later (calculator)
Why was the broom late for class?
It over-swept.
How does a bee go to school?
It uses the school buzz (school bus).
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?
Because you can’t concentrate.
What U.S. state has the most math teachers?
Mathachussets.
What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack.
What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!

Laughing Your Way Through the First Day of School

All in all, transitioning from summer vacation into a new school year can be very scary. However, teachers, parents, and students can use silly jokes, riddles, and puns to help ease their way into a new school year.

Teachers can add these jokes into their first-day lesson plan to help create a safe and welcoming classroom environment for students. Parents can turn these jokes into printables and place them in their children’s lunchboxes to remind their kids that everything will be fine.

Finally, students can use these jokes to break the ice and make new friends. There is nothing better than laughing one’s way through a stressful situation.

Want some more jokes? Check out our list of The 60 Best Dad Jokes of All Time!