Q
Which is correct: Insist on a grade of A or B or privileges will be withdrawn or ask that the student does his best indicating that an A or B will result? My child is in middle school.
A
I would not recommend either approach - punishment or requiring certain grades will not result in his doing his best. Punishments and rewards have no place in encouraging a child's learning and education (read Punished by Rewards, by Alfie Kohn for an insightful discussion on this topic as it applies to all child- rearing practices). In addition, you cannot guarantee that a child's "best" will result in the attainment of certain honor grades.
Valuing education in your family, being actively involved in your child's education, and creating realistic expectations for his academic efforts and success are cornerstones for a worthwhile educational experience. Encouraging your child to expect the best from himself and honoring all genuine efforts will go a long way toward having him establish high standards for himself.