Q
My 17-year-old son was out with three friends on the weekend and called to ask if they could sleep over. When they came home I discovered that they'd been drinking. My son told me this was the first time he'd experimented with alcohol and he was very apologetic. I sent him to bed and said we would discuss this further the next day (which we did). However, I allowed the other boys to stay. Should I have called the other boys' parents?
A
This is not an easy moral and ethical dilemma to solve. If you were the parent of one of those boys, would you want to know? I would be guided by your response to that question. I don't see your informing the parents of these other kids as betraying your son. He should be able to understand that you consider it your responsibility not to keep this secret for the other boys. Of course, he will probably express anger at your telling these other parents and he will probably have to endure some complaints from these boys.
Would alerting these parents serve the greater good in the long run? This decision isn't about being popular; it's about finding the answers that will leave you with a clear conscience and a sense of being a responsible parent.