Strengthening Good Behaviors and Reducing Bad Behaviors
To strengthen a good behavior:
- Use positive feedback.
- When your children behave, reward them by thanking them. When you see your children sharing, tell them that they should be proud of themselves.
- Use positive feedback to strengthen the opposite behavior.
Examples:
- If you want to reduce the amount of arguing between two children, call attention to the time when they are not arguing.
- If your children have a negative attitude, reward anything positive.
- Use extinction to eliminate any rewards for misbehavior.
- Do not give in to your children's demands.
- Ignore your children when they try to get your attention in a negative way.
- Use punishment.
- A child who comes home late cannot go out the next day.
- A child who does not do his chores forfeits part of his allowance.
Examples:
Examples:
| Positive feedback feels good to give and receive. | Punishment creates unpleasant feelings, often anger. |
| Positive feedback emphasizes good behavior. It teaches children to think. | Punishment draws attention to misbehavior. |
| Positive feedback increases motivation. | Punishment can have a negative effect on motivation. |
| Positive feedback creates feelings of success. | Punishment can cause children to feel like failures. |
| Positive feedback improves a child's self-esteem. | Punishment can have a negative impact on self-esteem. |
| Positive feedback gives children self-confidence. | Punishment weakens self-confidence. |
| Positive feedback teaches children to trust their decisions. | Punishment does not teach trust. It sometimes teaches fear. |
| Positive feedback motivates children to seek goals. | Punishment may cause children to feel despair: "Why try? I always get in trouble anyway." |
| Positive feedback develops responsibility: "When I make good decisions, I feel good." | Punishment often teaches children to avoid admitting responsibility for their actions. |
| Positive feedback promotes healthy family relationships. | Punishment may alienate family members. |
| Positive feedback encourages children to talk to their parents. | Punishment discourages children from talking to their parents. |
| Positive feedback teaches children to be positive with others. | Punishment that is aggressive teaches children to be aggressive toward others. |
| Positive feedback is easy to use effectively. | Punishment is difficult to use easily. |