When a Child Refuses to Go to Time-Out
Try these tips for dealing with a child who refuses to go to time-out.
When a Child Refuses to Go to Time-Out
The way you manage a child who refuses to go to time-out depends on the age and size of your child. For children up to five or six, it is acceptable to pick them up and put them in time-out. Be careful not to hurt your child or yourself. If your child will not stay in time-out, hold the door closed from the outside. Some parents have to do this at first. Holding a door closed is an intense physical drain. You may feel terrible. Both parents should take turns or have another adult nearby to call on for assistance. It makes more sense to hold the door closed for a few minutes than give in. While you are holding the door closed, it is essential that you remain calm, in control of yourself and the situation. Occasionally remind your child with a calm voice, "As soon as you sit quietly, I will start the timer." If you are uncomfortable with this technique, try the next idea. With older children or younger children who are too strong to control physically, you need a different approach. When your child refuses to go to time-out, wait a minute and ask again. If you are finding yourself getting angry, walk away and cool off for a few minutes. Do not argue or yell. Give Your Child a Minute to ThinkIt is all right to give your child a minute to think about what is going to happen next. "Before this goes any further, think about what it will mean. You are going to lose your bike. You will still have to serve your time-out. I am not going to argue with you. It's up to you. Why not do your time and get it over?" Sometimes children make poor decisions. Give them a minute to think. They may realize that ten minutes in time-out is better than a long hassle. Take Away the Treasure
If your child refuses to go to time-out after your second request, it's time to go for something treasured. Take away the privilege or activity or toy that is most loved by your child. If possible, choose something that you can lock up or put away. Things like bicycles, CD players, computers, video games, televisions, stereos, and movies on video work well. I do not know what your child's favorite plaything is, but you do. Whatever it is, that's what you lock up. The treasure goes to time-out.
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