Why Children Push Your Buttons
Learn how to avoid anger and impulsive reactions when children push your buttons.
In this article, you will find:
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Why Children Push Your Buttons
It's 10:10 and thirteen-year-old Megan is still on the telephone. The rule is, there will be no telephone conversations after ten o'clock. Mother sticks her head into Megan's room and politely reminds her that she needs to finish the conversation and hang up. Megan nods and makes a face. At 10:20, Mother calmly reminds her again. Megan waves at Mom, hoping she will go away. This time Mother feels herself getting upset. At 10:27, Mother explodes with anger. "Hang up right now, young lady. You are restricted from the phone for two weeks." Megan has pushed Mother's button. Children push your buttons because they like driving you crazy. They like seeing you transformed from a rational, clearheaded, calm parent into an unreasonable, provoked maniac. One minute you are composed and sensible, the next minute you are agitated and senseless. Every parent can relate to this. When you get angry, yell, scream, or threaten, your button has been pushed. When you find yourself telling your child that he is grounded for a year, your button has been pushed. Children push your buttons hoping you will give in and let them have their way. Children push your buttons to get attention because they want you to feel guilty and blame yourself when you punish them, because they are angry at you, or sometimes to get even and hurt you. We all have these buttons. When they are pushed, each of us reacts in our own unique way. Usually we become angry, impulsive, and sometimes vengeful. Two Reactions for One MisbehaviorTwelve-year-old Sean asks his mother, Cindy, if he can have a few friends over to watch TV. Cindy says no. She explains that she has a lot of work to do tonight: "Perhaps you can have them over some other night. Maybe next weekend." Sean does not accept her answer. He begins to tease and whine: "I never get to have friends over. You're not fair." Cindy argues her point. Sean argues in return. The argument intensifies. Sean starts having a tantrum. Cindy gets angry. She yells at Sean to go to his room and stay there for the remainder of the day.
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