What Would You Do If...?

Close, but this situation calls for communication. "Talk with your child in order to get at the underlying causes of the change," advises a child psychologist. Clearly something is troubling your child and you need to find out what it is in a spirit of love and support. If you focus only on the broken rules and on blame or consequences, your child may simply withdraw.

Keep in mind... Children who are at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents spend time with their children and monitor and supervise both their behavior and feelings.

That's right! This is the better answer. This situation calls for communication. "Talk with your child in order to get at the underlying causes of the change," advises a child psychologist. Clearly something is troubling your child and you need to find out what it is in a spirit of love and support. If you focus only on the broken rules and on blame or consequences, your child may simply withdraw.

Keep in mind... Children who are at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents spend time with their children and monitor and supervise both their behavior and feelings.

That's right. But there's room for disagreement on this answer. This is a tough call. Experts in the child development field and many parents can't agree on the best solution in this situation. While many experts feel parents should respect the child's request for confidence, a few said the parent should quietly report the matter. We suggest you talk the situation over with your child, using this opportunity to discuss how difficult peer pressure can be and to decide together what to do. Friends are becoming very important to your child at this age. Let your child know you understand this and discuss how he or she has been put in a very tough spot. As part of your discussion, point out that sincere friends would not put someone in such a position.

Keep in mind... Children who are at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents offer plenty of opportunity for teaching values, social skills and life skills.

There's room for disagreement on this answer. This is a tough call.

Experts in the child development field and many parents can't agree on the best solution in this situation. While many experts feel parents should respect the child's request for confidence, a few said the parent should quietly report the matter. We suggest you talk the situation over with your child, using this opportunity to discuss how difficult peer pressure can be and to decide together what to do. Friends are becoming very important to your child at this age. Let your child know you understand this and discuss how he or she has been put in a very tough spot. As part of your discussion, point out that sincere friends would not put someone in such a position.

Keep in mind... Children who are at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents offer plenty of opportunity for teaching values, social skills and life skills.

Actually, you should immediately discuss your suspicions with your child. This matter needs to be confronted quickly and directly. Childhood development specialists agree that even this serious problem can be approached in a caring way. The rule of not using alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs must be hard and fast and strictly enforced so that children understand how important it is to you. Encourage your child to talk about any pressures from friends or other factors that led to taking the alcohol.

Keep in mind... Children at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents offer opportunities for interaction, communication and bonding.

That's right! This matter needs to be confronted quickly and directly. Childhood development specialists agree that even this serious problem can be approached in a caring way. The rule of not using alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs must be hard and fast and strictly enforced so that children understand how important it is to you. Encourage your child to talk about any pressures from friends or other factors that led to taking the alcohol.

Keep in mind... Children at least risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents offer opportunities for interaction, communication and bonding.

That's right! And because consistency in discipline is so important, you should make a sincere effort to separate work tensions from family discipline so you can maintain this consistency. If you find yourself being overly strict or sharp because of stress, apologize to your child for your behavior, even if it is the next day.

Keep in mind... Children least at risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents are consistent and even-handed in discipline, involving their children in setting rules and determining consequences when rules are broken.

Actually the better solution would be the first choice: Make it your personal goal not to impose consequences on your children when you are feeling stressed or under pressure.

And because consistency in discipline is so important, you should make a sincere effort to separate work tensions from family discipline so you can maintain this consistency. If you find yourself being overly strict or sharp because of stress, apologize to your child for your behavior, even if it is the next day.

Keep in mind... Children least at risk for using alcohol and other drugs are those whose parents are consistent and even-handed in discipline, involving their children in setting rules and determining consequences when rules are broken.